What we eat each day and the foods that we add into each meal can have a powerful effect of all aspects of our health, including the way ADHD symptoms manifest. To be clear, I’m not saying that food is a panacea. What I am saying, is that food can be very beneficial, especially when we consider that we have 3 opportunities each day and 21 opportunities each week to add in foods that can positively impact our health.
Here are 3 ways that food can be supportive for ADHD symptoms:
Support healthy estrogen and progesterone balance
Think of estrogen and progesterone like a see saw that rises and falls depending on where you are in your menstrual cycle. When estrogen is too high or too low in relation to progesterone, this imbalance can have a negative effect on many aspects of our health, including the way our brain makes the neurotransmitters dopamine, serotonin, glutamate and noradrenaline.
Without being too simplistic, supporting healthy estrogen levels throughout our menstrual cycle can potentially have an impact on neurotransmitters too. It also means that a healthy balance with progesterone can lessen the impact of ADHD symptoms after ovulation during the luteal phase.
Adding cruciferous vegetables such as kale, broccoli sprouts, brussels sprouts, kohlrabi, chard and bok choy helps the liver and the gut in the way that it breaks down estrogens that our body has used so that they can be excreted in our bowel movements and urine. It goes without saying, (but I’ll say it anyway!) that we need to have at the very minimum one bowel movement a day to get rid of these estrogens. If you’re not, have a look at what you can add into your meals to increase the number of healthy bowel movements – fibre, ferments and lots of water are great places to start!
Support gut health
Our gut (our large and small intestines) is where we produce about 80 – 90% of our dopamine and serotonin. Although these two neurotransmitters naturally decline as we move towards the end of our menstrual cycles, by supporting our gut and a healthy gut microbiome, we can positively influence the way dopamine and serotonin are made in our gut.
An easy way to do this is by adding in the 4 Ps: prebiotics, probiotics, polyphenols and phospholipids.
Prebiotics are fibre rich foods that feed the healthy bacteria that already in the gut. Some examples are oats, Jerusalem artichokes, cabbage, garlic, onions, greens, apples and bananas (the greener the better!).
Probiotics are fermented foods that introduce new bacteria strains into the gut. Some examples are full fat Greek or natural yoghurt, sourdough bread, kombucha, kefir, sauerkraut, kimchi, natto and pickled vegetables.
Polyphenols are compounds found in plant based foods. There are over 8,000 different types of polyphenols and they most commonly act like antioxidants, reducing inflammation and the cell damage from free radicals. Brightly coloured fruits and vegetables, herbs, nuts and seeds are great sources of polyphenols.
Phospholipids are a type of fat found in plant and animal foods. They are helpful for reducing inflammation and supporting gut health. You can find these in oily fish (remember the acronym SMASHHT – sardines, mackerel, anchovies, haddock, herring, trout), full-fat organic dairy and eggs, algae and flaxseed.
Address nutrient deficiencies
There are several nutrient deficiencies that when present, can exacerbate ADHD symptoms. Magnesium, zinc and omega-3 are some of the big nutrient deficiencies that can be addressed through food and supplementation.
Magnesium is an important mineral for supporting serotonin neurotransmission and can calm ADHD symptoms.
Zinc is required for serotonin, dopamine and noradrenaline production.
Omega-3 fatty acids must be obtained through food and supplements because the body cannot make these on its own.
If you have ADHD, do you notice the effects of food and supplementation on your symptoms? Does this change depending on where you are in your menstrual cycle?
Le’Nise Brothers is a yoga teacher and registered nutritionist, mBANT, mCNHC, specialising in women’s health, hormones and the menstrual cycle. She is also the host of the Period Story Podcast, which aims to break taboos around menstrual health and hormones.
Le’Nise has helped hundreds of women improve their menstrual and hormone health through her private practice and group programmes, talks and workshops for the likes of Stylist, Channel 4, Boden, Ebay and TikTok and her Instagram page. Le’Nise works primarily with women who feel like they’re being ruled by their sugar cravings, mood swings and hormonal acne & bloating. They want to get to grips with heavy, missing, irregular & painful periods, fibroids, PMS, PCOS, endometriosis, post-natal depletion and perimenopause.
On today’s episode of Period Story, I am so pleased to share my conversation with Emma Mainoo, the founder of Surviving Sundays.
We had a fantastic conversation about mental health, how to get help and how to help anyone around you you think may be in need. And of course, Emma shared the story of her first period! I can’t wait for you to hear this episode!
Emma shared the story of her first period, which coincided with her time at an all girls Catholic convent school. She said that she really wanted to get her period because for her, it meant that she wasn’t a little girl anymore.
When her period arrived, her feelings towards it changed. She says she finds her periods very limiting, heavy and painful. She says that pain has always been a part of the conversation between her and her friends about periods, so she internalised the message that this was normal.
Emma shared the story of starting Surviving Sundays. She says Sundays used to be the worst day of the week for her. Listen to hear why Emma decided to make Sundays sacred, her best day of the week.
Emma talks about her story of mental health and shares her advice for others who feel as through they’re at their breaking point. She says that we all have mental health, so we can all have mental health challenges.
If you know someone going through a mental health challenge, Emma says the most important thing you can do is to go into any conversation with a lack of judgement and a willingness to listen. Emma says that it’s a strong and courageous thing to reach out and get the help you need. Thank you, Emma!
Emma is the head of the mental health practice at Utopia, a culture change business that creates more purposeful, inclusive and entrepreneurial cultures for clients.
Emma worked at senior level with global brands for a number of years, which brought great professional reward, but also anxiety and depression. In 2012, she began a healing journey through therapy, self care practices and alternative healing; and in 2018, she decided to share her story of hope and survival through the creation of Surviving Sundays, a storytelling platform that offers hope and inspiration to anyone who is experiencing poor mental health.
In 2019, Emma became a qualified Mental Health First Aid Instructor, and now teaches people to spot the signs of poor mental health and offer solutions within the workplace.
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SHOW TRANSCRIPT
Le’Nise:Welcome to the show.
Emma: Thank you for having me. So really excited to be here.
Le’Nise: Yeah, I’m really excited to have you here. So let’s get started off by getting into the story of your first period. Can you share with us what happened?
Emma:Yeah. So it’s something of a hazy memory now, which is kind of surprising because my periods are always something that are quite memorable, even to this day. I was 14 years old. I remember thinking at the time that I was a late bloomer. I was an all girls very kind of religious Catholic convent school, and everybody kind of led me to believe, I now look back and think, was it true that they had that period? And I had been so wanting my period because then it meant that I wasn’t a little girl anymore. That’s kind of like how I thought about it at the time. Like I was just like really wanting to have my period. And I at this girls school, I remember somebody coming in, might have been a representative from like Tampax or something, giving us tampons, I’ve got a whole story around that. And that was like, we used to wear these purse belts that we put a change in these brown belt with like a zipper. You’d put your change. And there was like a hole that you could click on to your purse belt. It was like in a bright colour, like a pink or yellow. And then you put your tampons into this plastic, kind of like a holder. And I remember walking around with the holder attached to my purse belt like ages, like wanting people to think that I already had my period. Little did I know my period would actually become something that I dreaded, not something that I look forward to. And as often happens, it came on a day where I was at school and it was summertime.
And we used to wear like there was a summer and the winter uniforms. The summer uniform was like a cotton dress.
It was like an orangey gingham check that allowed my period to kind of spread in full flow. And this was something that we often noticed with girls in school. We might poke fun. We’ll be like, oh, you know, alarmed by the sight of this period. And that’s what happened to me. That was my first period. So on one hand, I was like, yeah, I’ve got my period now. But at the same time, like, it was kind of like shock and like embarrassment around it at the time as well.
Le’Nise: You got your first period when you were at school. What do you do?
Emma:I can’t really remember.
I remember going home and telling my mom and just kind of having a conversation around, we’d had it before, but like sanitary pads and what was next. I just remember feeling, like, really quite messy and quite dirty. I don’t remember, those years for me at school were really difficult years where I was bullied at school and ended up changing like in a really important exam year for me. And I do find that with a lot of memories around that time, they’re either really, really memorable or I block them out. So I don’t remember a lot of like dialogue with girls in class around that time, but I do remember getting it. And then like getting like home and being like just wanting to get clean and then using sanitary pads.
Le’Nise: Why do you think you associated having your period with this feeling of being unclean?
Emma: I don’t know, like I think it’s like there was a smell that was blood, it was visible, I felt sticky, like the whole thing to me just was an age anywhere where your hormones are developing and your body’s changing and you’ve got hair and you’re smelling and you’re having odours where you didn’t really have odours like, you know, a couple of years before. And I just really felt like unclean in that moment. And I guess that’s something really that to this day, like, I obviously accept the fact and expect the fact that I have a period, I’m extra kind of hygienic around it.
Like I’m not somebody that like, I have a relative who embraces and is very kind of like forward thinking when she comes to her period and she loves it and all the things that that it represents for her. But for me is a time where I don’t feel particularly like clean and I want to be extra hygienic.
Le’Nise: OK, so you carry those feelings all through your life.
Emma: Yeah.
Le’Nise: And you mentioned in the beginning that your period was something that you were really looking forward to and then those feelings changed after you got your period.
Can you talk a little bit more on why those feelings changed?
Emma:Yeah, I mean, for me, both then and now, my periods are incredibly painful, heavy. They’ve been quite limiting in terms of it doesn’t matter what protection is out there. And you see all these adverts with people like rollerblading or like dancing and like you can do everything. Like, that’s not been my experience in, you know, it’s not something that’s got better over time. As I’ve got older, my periods have definitely become heavier. And but the pain that’s associated with them, I know a lot of people have pain, but for me, there have been times when I’ve vomited. I’ve been in quite like careers that have been very performance driven up until recent years. And there have been times where I’ve been like, you know, feeling like I could be on my deathbed, either mentally or physically with different things, whether that’s tonsillitis, whether that, you know, and I would still work even if that was working from home.
When my period comes, there have been times where that’s just not been possible. Like the pain has been so incredible that I’ve been in very awkward positions in my bed trying to get comfortable, hot water bottles, bath, ibuprofen, all of it. And just not being you know, I had to just, like, wait for it to like end, to cancel plans. I had, I had even last year, like a really important meeting in the City. I had to be at like 9:00 a.m. and I woke up at 5:00 a.m, with like the most incredible pain and nausea. I had a message, my colleague, and say, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to make it to this meeting. You know, my period is just so painful this morning. I feel really sick. And I don’t know if I can get in yet. I did get there like after a few hours of doing all the things I know I needed to do. But, you know, that has been a big thing for me, the pain.
Le’Nise: And what have you done? You’ve mentioned some of the things that you’ve you’ve done to manage the pain, so hot water bottles being in certain body positions, painkillers. What what have you explored in terms of conversations with doctors about why this pain might be happening for you?
Emma:And this is where I tell you that, you know, unless it’s been about, you know, like a gynae visit or I’ve been to get the contraceptive pill, I’ve never just been to a doctor and said, this pain is so unbearable. What do I do? It’s like it happens. It will happen. I’ll get pain for about a week before the rumblings of pain that tell me it’s coming. I’ll get it the day I get it. It’s unreal. Maybe the second day and then it’s gone and it’s almost like for a month. OK, that’s just what happens. At one point, a doctor suggested the contraceptive pill may help with that. It never did. To be completely honest with you, it didn’t. And a friend I mean, there’s another friend, she and I like our bond, like our common bond is how bad our periods are. A couple of years ago told me about something she’d heard about, which specifically describe the pain. But I’ve never been a big fan of, like, taking medication unless I, I needed to. So it’s not something I’ve explored.
Le’Nise:Why do you think that you haven’t explored it, because if you’ve had these situations where you’ve potentially had to cancel big meetings, you’ve been vomiting, I just wonder sometimes what I’ve what I’ve heard one guest say in the past is like she almost has selective memory when it comes to her period where if you get, for her, she had really bad mood symptoms and she would get through it and then it would just be like her mind would just forget until her next menstrual cycle. What do you think it is for you?
Emma:Yeah, and I mean, I wouldn’t say that mood like my mood definitely alters. It’s really weird, like at this point in my life as well, you know, so many years of having periods. And I still feel like it’s like this week before and go, I feel really sad, like, you know, then I’ll go, oh, it’s my period. Like, it’s some big surprise. It’s not even a selective memory. It’s just, I think, a culture of just going, that’s what happens. And you chat to your friends, they have period pain too, that’s it. And then it’s gone. And then it comes back, you know, in some, it’s not consistently been at the level where, you know, I might need to cancel a meeting, but I’m definitely not going to the gym. I’m definitely not doing anything on the day I get my period this strenuous. And I, you know, by the evening, it’s not an all day, all night. It’s probably like, you know, about five, six hours of a day sometimes, you know, that I would have it from like early morning. And I just kind of go, OK, that’s it, it’s gone now. Get on with whatever I’m doing.
Le’Nise:Where do you think you got this message from that pain was, is a normal part of having a period?
Emma: All around me, all around me, you know, I would I would talk to friends about it and just say my period pain is like unreal. And I would have other friends going, yeah, I have probably two friends that, like, really suffer like I do. But everyone would say they had pain. I’ve never had anybody go, ‘I don’t have any pain’. They either have pain or a really heavy flow. And it’s just something that just seems to be like that is what it is. You know.
Le’Nise: That’s interesting.
Emma: You know, all around me, like that’s always been the conversation. Like my mom had an early kind of hysterectomy because of like the horrendous, like, periods that she was experiencing. And it’s just something I’ve, I expect to accept it as part of, you know, having a period.
Le’Nise: That period having a period means pain.
Emma: Yeah, yeah.
Le’Nise: A part of my work is, you know, looking at these cultural norms that we, we accept. And it is so common to hear women talk about how much pain they experience. And something I was talking about earlier in the, in the summer was if you look at all of the, so if you look if you say I have two days of period pain every, every cycle, and let’s say you have 12 days, 12 periods a year, that means that across the year you have 24 days where you’re in a lot of pain.
And I often think that if this was any other condition, we wouldn’t necessarily accept it as much as we do with periods, because we’ve been told that, well, this is normal.
Women are supposed to have, people with periods are supposed to feel like this when they when they’re on their period because, you know, that’s just what happens. And I just think that if we, if this was any other condition, then, you know, it wouldn’t be accepted. But so many of us, so many women have internalised this message that pain is normal, pain is just, it’s part, it’s our lot.
Emma: Yeah, yeah, and I think, like when you get a pain, I completely agree with what you’re saying and I’ve heard you say that before and when you say it like that, you’re like, wow. Yeah. You know, if I had a stabbing pain in my leg for 24 days every year, I’d have dealt with that, I think, because it’s almost like, you know what it is. Right. The things that I would go to the doctor for are either the unexplained things or like with my mental health, if I know I need help with that and I could identify it, I would go and see a doctor. With my period, you’re kind of going, OK, I understand this. My body, you know, the uterus. I’m shedding some lining. It’s pushing through. I get it. So I’m not frightened by where is this pain coming from? And therefore, it’s just, you know, I’m able to go, OK, that’s what that is. That’s what that is.
Until in recent years, I must be honest, when I started to think about, you know, becoming a mother and going to see all the specialists I’ve needed to see around those conversations, that’s where I’ve started to get more education and to understand my fertility more and my periods more and what they represent, like that’s the place where I’ve got the most knowledge, but it’s because I’m on my own education and fertility journey.
Le’Nise What areas did you feel like you needed to get education around?
Emma:I think my education has been very poor. I don’t want to, like, look back and point fingers, but I can give context. So I went to a an all girls school, as I’ve said, that was, you know, there were other teachers that weren’t nuns, but there were a lot of you know, it was a convent. So the school was led by by nuns. Principles, the ethos, a lot of the education, the teachers were taught by nuns. And then I lived in a home where my stepfather was much older than my mother, from quite a traditional background. And my mum, again, was Catholic. But again, from an era where things were like not spoken about, really. Definitely sex, reproduction and hormonal health is just not something that we would we would talk about in my house. In fact, you know, if you talked about sex, it was something almost shameful. And the labels around being like sin and bad girl versus good girl and all those things kind of came out. The environment that I was in, I didn’t have sisters.
And so, you know, feelings like, my education about my period came from perhaps magazines or, you know, we had a reproductive health session in school where where we talked about it. But I remember when it came to like, when I started to socialise with people that were at my school, I met other girls and they were talking about tampons. And I very clearly remember conversations about tampons, both in my household and at school, where I was told if I used a tampon, I would no longer be a virgin in the eyes of the Lord, my hymen would be broken and I wouldn’t be a virgin.
And all this kind of inference that it was not, that it was a sexualised thing to have a tampon. So again, even though they’re going, OK, use sanitary pads, because that is like a kind of a more acceptable thing. It still clouds the whole subject in this kind of it’s not a safe or open thing that we talk about and explore options around, if that makes sense to you.
Le’Nise: And also to this, conflating the idea of periods and sex and, yeah, making the tampon seem like a sexual thing. It adds that additional level of shame.
Emma: Yeah. And, you know, we had some, somebody for sure come in as a representative from a, you know, like Tampax or whatever, because I remember having these tampons given to us. But then, you know, whether that was kind of like a school like teacher thing versus a convent thing, because I remember having to, going into Sick Bay is a memory I have quite clearly because my periods were quite bad and painful. There was a thing I don’t know if they still have this in school called Sick Bay, right where you would go, there was a nun and their sister, Dolores, she was really sweet and they were like bunk beds in there and a radiator. And I would often be going into that bunk beds, going into these big feathery duvets, put my back, my bottom against the hot radiator had just to, like, try and beat this pain. But also, you know, just saying and I, you know, just saying like my period so bad and like having these conversations with a couple of nuns around the fact that, you know, tampons were like, we shouldn’t be using them. And also at home, that was a message that was kind of like supported as well. So, you know, this idea that vagina is period and it is sex. Means that actually my, like my sexual organs weren’t something that I kind of got familiar with until my 20s, really.
Le’Nise:It’s amazing to me that you had the school telling you that tampons were or something to be used because they are connected with sex, I just think that that’s just unbelievable. Actually, it isn’t unbelievable because you hear all these stories about different things that people learn about their bodies and how, you know, there’s just this education that happens so, so often. So as you got older, you left school and you continued to have these these painful periods and this trouble with your, with menstruation. How did you explore what was happening to you?
Emma:I just honestly, I didn’t, it’s just something that became for me, like I knew that I would have some downtime every time that my period came. I remember a girlfriend I’d become quite close to. She was at boarding school and she was so fun. And like we used to hanging out when she came back, like she was the person that said to me, just use a tampon like, I use them. And I remember she coached me. She was sat outside. We were on a weekend in Wales. I think we’d gone with my parents and they’d gone out and she bought me these Tampax minis, which I don’t really see anymore and I would never be using now, like these mini ones, because I couldn’t get a regular tampon in because my, I was just so anxious. She was outside the bathroom door as I was like in the bathroom, like my foot up on the bath. She was like coaching me through using this tampon because I was so anxious, because obviously this was like a naughty thing to be doing. I think I must have been if I was friends with her, I think I met her around about the age of 16, 17. So, you know, I kind of like grew up with this friend. She kind of taught me things about sex and periods. And I wasn’t supposed to know, obviously. And yeah, I mean, that was it. Like in terms of education and exploring periods, I don’t think I’m alone in just knowing that these two just things that happen to us and we just get on and that’s an awful thing to say. But like the pain, the bleeding, that was just it like I didn’t explore it. Like I’m 41. Not a lot of people realise that, some people think I look younger than I am. So I’m 41. I’m 42 this year. There wasn’t an Internet of things then that we went into. There weren’t Instagrammers, you know, you’ve got Smash Hits magazine, maybe you’ve got Just 17 or whatever. And there would be things in there, but there wasn’t a world of information that in fact, it was quite the opposite. It was something you don’t talk about. That was certainly my experience.
Le’Nise: And it’s interesting if you compare what you’ve just been saying about, you know, you don’t talk about, you didn’t talk about these things with actually the work that you do now around mental health and how there’s this greater openness around mental health and more people are willing to talk about their mental health struggles, whether it’s anxiety, depression or anything beyond that. And I’d like you to talk a little bit about your, your step into this area. I know on your website you have a post where you talk about why you started Surviving Sundays. But could you just tell us a little bit more about that for listeners who aren’t familiar with your story?
Emma: Yes. So firstly, I think just to talk about the name Surviving Sundays, I don’t know, people kind of go there thinking it’s about hangovers maybe. And also because today I also talk about sobriety.
But Sunday for me was once the worst day of the week. And that wasn’t just about like workload. It was because I was in recovery from a breakdown I’d experienced. And Sunday represented a day where I’d either spent the day alone because I just couldn’t face being the third wheel with my couple friends or the fifth wheel if they had kids or even just hanging out with friends who were like on their own and just thriving like, life was just really difficult. And I knew that I was going into the office on Monday morning. I worked for a really friendly company then. I was kind of hiding what I’d been through and I knew people would ask me how I felt at the teapoint and I would say, fine, and just try and move the conversation on. So Surviving Sundays represents to me a journey where I went on to make Sundays something sacred. And now that journey and that connection between what was once my worst thing, becoming now my best thing like Sunday, my most favourite. I hear people say they hate Sundays.
I love Sunday, like I love Sundays and I’m protective of them. So that’s, Surviving Sundays is about the journey that I went on. But also, you know, it’s not just about me. It’s a space where I came forward and said, look, you know, I had a breakdown. I had a breakdown in 2012. I came forward, told my story, and I’ve now created a place where other people can share theirs. But like the potted story is that I spent around 20 years of my career working in marketing, whether that’s media or PR or marketing. I worked in that area and anyone who knows and that worked in that world knows that it is performance driven.
That is, you’re not just kind of like delivering the work, whatever that may be, you’re performing yourself, like it’s all about engaging clients, engaging hearts and minds through the work that you’re doing. And that meant me working hard but also playing hard. And what I didn’t know, because I didn’t have the emotional language then or the education was that probably I can identify now like my first mental health problems beginning about the age of 14. I’d had some difficult years in my formative years, in my school years, and this manifested in me, you know, feeling incredibly unhappy, very, very anxious, I then might have just said I was a worrier, but, I mean, I was worrying about big stuff and I was thinking about ways to not be here anymore, ways to harm myself, to not go to school, to not feel the way that I did. And I controlled my food. That was the thing that I did that made me feel like I had some sense of control. That was my only thing. And I ran away from that girl for about 20 years, like, you know, through toxic relationships that kept me distracted from the work on myself. Through work, achievement, work was the place where I knew that I was doing something good because I was, you know, a people pleaser. I threw myself at something and I would achieve and also through going out and like playing that happens in that world. And I thrived on all fronts. But ultimately, I was just suppressing feelings that needed to be addressed. And 20 years later, age 34, a break up that was unexpected in a very serious relationship led to a breakdown. And it wasn’t just about that relationship. It was literally 20 years of demons, switch being flicked and everything coming to me in one moment that I tried to run away from.
So I had a breakdown. I was out of work for three months, and it meant that when I went into my new job, people there didn’t know me. They didn’t know what I’d been through. They didn’t know that I was coming from a breakdown and I could hide again, which I did for a number of years. So Surviving Sundays was the place where two and a half years ago, I came out really and just said I have had a debilitating breakdown. I was in recovery mode when I stood on the door at 10 Downing Street on an impressive project that to all the world looked like I was like just killing it, you know, and I felt like I was dying inside, you know, I was dying inside on Instagram when I was high kicking my way through, you know, members clubs and bars and parties in Ibiza and all of that, you know. And I just wanted to create a very normal dialogue around what mental health problems can look like and tell my story and be authentic. So that’s, that’s what I’ve done because I felt so incredibly alone. And I was tired of feeling that way and ashamed of the feelings that I had. So that’s why I came out and told my story.
Le’Nise:So having worked in in media marketing as well, so I kind of connected, connect with what you’re saying around it being a job that’s very much about an industry, that’s very much about performance. You perform for your clients. You have to be yourself. You have to be on all the time because, you know, God forbid, you know, your client doesn’t see you at your best. The drinking, the partying, the dinners, the jollies, all of it. And it’s exhausting and I don’t think, I think it’s changed in the last couple of years. But to say that you were depressed or anxious in the time that I was working in, in media, it’s just not a conversation that you would have. And I have seen changes. I don’t work in that industry anymore, but I have seen changes over the last couple of years, in terms of in the trade press and what my friends who still work in the industry talk about. But I just want to talk a little bit more about how you felt like you had to hide it because you had to perform. And I think that people listening who are experiencing the same thing would connect with that. And what would you say to someone who is in the same position and just going through real turmoil inside but feeling like they’re at the breaking point?
Emma: I would say that like a lot of the reason I didn’t reach out when I look back now, wasn’t necessarily because of the perceptions of me that others held, it was me not wanting to acknowledge my problems and having an internalised shame around my feelings. When I did have a conversation at some point with one of my bosses in my media agency, he was so kind, so supportive and recommended, you know, that I went and spoke to somebody, which I did.
But then knowing that I had great health care plan, I was still frightened of like having therapy through my work plan because I felt like people might know what it was like then, like far more of a serious thing. And I didn’t want to be seen to not do my job. I know that it’s confidential now, obviously. I think at the time I did. I just didn’t trust it enough.
And I think the like the change for me has been, you know, I had a breakdown. It doesn’t mean I don’t have mental health challenges now. And we all can, we all have mental health, so we can all have mental health challenges. Depression and anxiety aren’t just things that happen to those other people out there, who ever those other people might be. We can all be at risk of it. And I think we’re all experiencing it as a result of the pandemic that we’re going through and the crises and conversations around racism. Everybody’s anxious, but I think, you know, saying reach out is really like a big thing to ask of people to reach out at work. Like, you might not be ready to do that, you know. But what I would say is reach out to someone and that someone may be a therapist, that someone may be a trusted friend. I really would recommend, you know, if it’s within your capability. And I say that because I know that therapy can be expensive, although there are more providers and solutions coming along that are better, to get some professional support. It has been the most life defining and life changing thing that I ever did. A friend can hold space for you, a friend can hear you, but friends can become exhausted and also not have the answers or the skills to support you in the right way. So I would say get honest with yourself.
You know, if you’re having days, multiple days where you’re feeling really low and life feels pointless and you feel hopeless, like that is not to be ignored by going out and just going, OK, that’s that’s how I feel, like going out and drinking or working harder or, you know, get honest with yourself is the first thing I would say and find the help that you need.
You know, I don’t believe in, like, people preaching to you that, you know, if you’re drinking too much, like stop drinking immediately, like you got to do things in your own time, in your own way.
So that’s what I would say.
Le’Nise: Find the help that you need. What are some resources that someone who feels that they are ready to seek that first step of help, what are some resources that they can access?
Emma: Well, the first thing that I would say is that it’s been a great comfort to me and it still is today to find myself in the stories of others. That might be the first place that you start. So if you have a problem with alcohol, you don’t need to be an alcoholic. Like that’s such a myth to you know, Alcoholics Anonymous is there for people who define themselves as alcoholics. That is true. And there is a thing around admission of that. But you might go and sit in a room where people reflect your experiences, whether that’s eating, whether that’s co-dependency. I went to a help group for some of my co-dependent behaviours. It might be AA. It might be you know, some of these sober circles are coming up. It might be a mental health support group. It might be blogs and places like Mind, the Mind website, I think is phenomenal. It has an A to Z, a comprehensive A to Z guide of all the different mental health conditions that people might experience, plus a blog where stories are shared, Surviving Sundays. You know, I don’t, I’m not plugging it because it doesn’t make me any money. It’s not that to make me famous. It’s there because stories are shared with the hope that somebody might read them, go, wow, that that reflects my experience. So leaning into spaces where you might be seen is a great place to start. That could be that you follow an influencer that kind of speaks your language on a topic, that could be a really good place to start. The other thing that I would say is not to be afraid, especially if you’re starting to experience suicidal thoughts, of reaching out. The Samaritans is there for a reason. It’s a confidential support service with highly trained people who are really warm, really empathetic, who can who can hear you. There are great services like the Samaritans there to support people. So looking into organisations where you can start to have a conversation about the way that you feel by people that might be able to listen and support you.
Le’Nise: And what about the flip side of it, where you might have someone in your life who you can see that there is an issue, but they might be kind of putting on that facade where, you know, you, you on your blog, you use the term high kicking their ways through life on Instagram. That’s what they’re doing by high kicking their way through life. But you know that, you can see that there’s something going on. What would you say to someone who is in that position? How can they have a really sensitive, tender, calm conversation with someone in their life who hasn’t actually acknowledged that they might be there might be an issue?
Emma:Yeah, I mean, I’m in this position now, both as a friend and as a teacher, so in my day to day life, like my whole work life has changed. Now I’m now a Head of Mental Health, at a culture change business called Utopia, where we work with clients every day, teaching employees how to have supportive conversations with each other.
And the first thing I will say is the most important thing that you can go into any conversation with is a lack of judgement and a willingness to listen. We so often think when we go into a conversation about what we’re going to say next, what we’re hearing when actually listening, thinking about the next smart thing we’re going to say, the facts we can give the experience we’ve had that similar to theirs, what they should do, rather than actually just going into a conversation and saying, how are you feeling? And sitting and listening in even if it’s uncomfortable for us. The reason we want to fix things often so we don’t want our friend to be in pain and it makes us feel uncomfortable. Now, sometimes what somebody needs is simply to be held and to be seen. And we can do that by saying thank you for sharing that with me. That’s really, really tough and I appreciate you sharing that with me, how can I help? Rather than saying you’ll be fine, it’s OK. You’ll get through this. But we want to be positive. We want to encourage hope and positivity. But sometimes we can shut people down if that’s all they’re hearing from us. If 90 percent of the message is you’ll get through this or what I did when I was depressed was this, the conversation that isn’t about them.
So really just being prepared to listen rather than doling out advice and judging and trying to fix is one of the simplest things that we can do. But honestly, I’m also, you know, aware of the fact that often people don’t have the tools or experience to support people with mental health problems. More support is needed. So that’s where things like Mental Health First Aid come in on are really valuable. I teach that course, it is a course where people are taught how to spot the signs of poor mental health. Also, it’s all about signposting, knowing when the time is to not try and be a therapist. Just say, OK, this, this and this resource could be really, really good for you and try to guide that person towards the help that they need.
Le’Nise: Talk a little bit about being a Mental Health First Aider, because I had never, I had never heard of that before. So if someone’s interested in that, in exploring that kind of training. Talk a little bit more about what it is.
Emma:Yes. So Mental Health First Aid is like 13 years old now, originated in Australia, but it’s been in the UK since, I think, about the last five years.
And really it came about because the creators of it realised that, you know, if you had an injury in the workplace now, if you fell over, if you had heart pains, if you know, if anything happened, you’re going to have a First Aider in your business is a legal requirement. Who knows how to put a plaster on you or how to call for emergency help and how to preserve your life until professional help arrives. The likelihood is the reality is and statistics show you’re far more likely to connect with somebody that is experiencing a mental health problem than you are with somebody who is having a heart attack. And so Mental Health First Aid came about as a training course that could help people to learn to spot the signs of things like depression and anxiety. We even explore psychosis, eating disorders, self-harm, and not so that they can diagnose, but so that they have some awareness and so that they can then support, preserve life, you know, talk, talk and support somebody who’s having, let’s say, for example, psychosis or a panic attack and help them get to professional help. So it used to be a two day course in a classroom that has now changed at the moment because of current circumstances. And it’s now an online course, which is two hours, 4 two hour sessions and some homework. And I teach this each week alongside the brilliant courses that I teach that we do at Utopia, because Mental Health First Aid isn’t for everyone. Like in some organisations, they like people to do it, to have First Aider in the business. But really, you know, deeper, strategic, more kind of influential courses need to happen that mean the workplace isn’t a place where you might need so many mental health facilities. And that’s kind of the work that I do with Utopia. But Mental Health First Aid is a really great course for people to come to learn some skills that they can support others and also be more mindful of their own wellbeing.
Le’Nise: Where can they contact you to find out about going on one of these courses?
Emma:Great, so you can contact me about, you know, any kind of like mental health questions or submissions, I’m always looking for people to write for Surviving Sundays and share their story. Or if you got enquiries about Mental Health First Aid, you can contact me by email via hello@survivingsundays.com. And you can check us out on Instagram at @surviving_sundays or visit the website, as well as some information on that by MHFA Mental Health First Aid, which is Survivingsundays.com.
Le’Nise: And if listeners were to take one thing from everything you’ve shared in our conversation, what would you want that to be?
Emma: I would just say, like on this topic of periods, like there’s a connection to the way that I felt about my mental health and the way that I thought about who I was for a long time. And that thread is shame. Decisions, relationships, a lot of things, most of the things I did were guided by shame and the fear of being discovered or seen for who I really was. And I would just say that, you know, now the decisions I made based on kind of like my hopes and dreams, not my fears around shame. And I think that, you know, just getting good with who you are and getting honest with who you are and accepting that if you need help, that’s not a shameful thing. It’s a strong and courageous thing to reach out and acknowledge that and get the help that you need. That’s a wonderful thing.
Le’Nise: Thank you so much for coming on the show. It’s been so wonderful to hear your story and to have a conversation with you.
Emma:Thank you, Le’Nise. Thanks for having me. And, you know, I’ve got to say, that beyond my best friends, I don’t really talk about my period, so it’s good to talk about it with you, you know. I look forward to kind of knowing you more and following you more and getting more education from you around something that I certainly am open to getting support with.
On today’s episode of Period Story podcast, I’m so happy to share my conversation with Kaysha Thomas, the nutritionist and Pilates teacher. Kaysha has a special focus on eating disorder recovery, body image and diversity, all of which we talked about in this episode.
Kaysha says she got her first period at around 9 or 10 and she took it all in her stride as she had already learned so much about it in school. She said that going to an all girls secondary school made conversations around periods and body changes easier and normalised.
We talked about Kaysha’s work with eating disorder recovery clients. She says there’s a whole group of men, women and children out who need to hear a different narrative about eating and body image, where the focus is on health, not weight loss.
Kaysha says that feeding ourselves is the ultimate form of self-care. I love that! We also talked about diet culture, the anti-diet movement and how the messages from both camps can be very inflammatory. We also dove into emotional eating and some of the cultural messages we receive about this.
We talked about the rise in people not wanting to talk about weight loss for fear of being attacked for not loving their bodies. Kaysha says that there’s a culture of toxic positivity, especially on social media and that we need to remember that there are people with individual experiences behind each post.
Kaysha says that you don’t have to love your body all the time, it’s okay to feel neutral and indifferent or not even focus on your body at all! Thank you for coming on the show, Kaysha!
Kaysha is a Registered Nutritional Therapist, Pilates Teacher and blogger working to make mental wellbeing accessible and inclusive. Kaysha covers topics such as eating disorder recovery, body image and diversity issues within the wellness industry. She studied at the Institute of Optimum nutrition and BASI Pilates UK and is currently studying for a Masters in Sport & Exercise Nutrition.
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SHOW TRANSCRIPT
Le’Nise: On today’s episode, we have Kaysha Thomas, a registered nutritional therapist, Pilates teacher and blogger, working to make mental health and wellbeing accessible and inclusive. Kaysha covers topics such as eating disorder recovery, body image and diversity issues within the wellness industry and is currently studying for a M asters in sport and exercise nutrition. Welcome to the show.
Kaysha: Thank you for having me, Le’Nise.
Le’Nise: So let’s get to the first question I always ask, which is the story of your very first period. Can you share with us what happened?
Kaysha: Yeah, so I started my period quite early. I was still in primary school. So I think I would have been 9 or 10 when my period started. And I remember being ready for it, as in I have had the conversation and I knew it was coming. I knew what periods were, I think I’ve been very fortunate in both of my schools that we’ve talked about. We talked about sexual sexual health, but we talked about, you know, menstrual cycle and sex education. So we had all that information quite early on. Back then in my day, it was done in primary school. So when my period started, I was expecting it. And I just remember waking up one morning and it had started.
And I just said to my mum, like, it was kind of like “the time has come. My period has commenced.” In a like all loud, like God, like voice.
I felt like I just came into the world like, “Mum, I think you find I’m a woman now. Could you pass me the pads?” That’s pretty much my story.
And I think I feel very, very aware that my first period was a pleasurable, pleasurable, maybe a bit far, but it was a nice story. Yeah.
Le’Nise: Nine or 10. So, I’ve interviewed other people who have said that their period has come at that age. And they said that they didn’t feel ready. So I feel like that’s quite different hearing that you had spoken about it at school. And so when the time came, you were ready. Talk about how you learnt about it at school.
Kaysha: So this is where it gets a bit hazy because I remember just always been the talk about periods. So we we knew that periods were a thing and that they were coming, the actual education about you’re going to have a period is what you need to do came from my mum, but it was initiated from my auntie. So I started developing breasts. And I think this is like the signs that say, okay, Kaysha’s getting boobs now. Clearly, if her periods haven’t started, they’re on their way soon. And my mom’s was and is quite a young mum, hadn’t thought about having a conversation with me. And it was her younger sister, my auntie, that said we need to speak to Kaysha about periods. My mom was kind of like my mom kind of is now was like, “oh, I haven’t done that conversation, although I have to do it.” And then I remember her, I remember quite vividly sitting on her bed on the floor, at the foot of her bed and her telling me about periods at. And she was telling me, it wasn’t news, but I didn’t know about the care, so I didn’t really know. But some of the things that she told me wasn’t quite true. And I think that was kind of old information. So I remember, one of the things you told me was that when you when you’re on your period, you can’t wear trousers and you have to wear a skirt. And to this day, I didn’t understand why she said that, because I couldn’t understand ‘why would I not be able to wear trousers?’ And I’m quite a sporty girl. I was quite a sporty girl and I still am in some ways. And so I didn’t really wear skirts. And I didn’t like that information. I was gonna ask, like, ‘can I still wear my cycling shorts underneath?’ So anyway, we had that conversation. But she was talking to me more about the care.
So like getting a pad, changing the pad regularly and stuff like that. So. Yeah. That’s pretty much how I was brought up to speed on what to do and what periods were.
Le’Nise :And when you got your period, were you the first of your friends to get it?
Kaysha: And this is interesting because yes, I was, but it wasn’t really talked about. I don’t remember it being like, “hey, you’ve got your period, you haven’t got your period.’ It was yeah, I think I was definitely on the first of my friends. I remember a few other friends getting their periods in primary school as well. But it wasn’t this it wasn’t a thing that we’ve really talked about, which yeah, again, I think is quite interesting. I know there can be a lot of stigma around that, who started, who hasn’t. I don’t remember it being the focus at school, but I remember it being again, like another little announcement that you say in the playground. “Oh, yes. So my period started.” “No way!” And and that was as far as it went. Yeah.
Le’Nise: Did you feel different in any way to your friends after you got your period?
Kaysha: I would say it was more the fact that I developed early that made me feel different. The period wasn’t the thing that made me feel different. It was the fact that I had quite large breasts at quite a young age. And that got me a lot of attention from both boys and girls and not always in a positive way. I think that was the thing that made me feel most different.
And, you know, also the fact that I was, I loved running and I saw these boobs is a look, it’s painful when you know, they’re budding, just coming through, just so painful. And I just remember thinking, this is this is this really sucks. I’ve got to, like, grow these things. I want to run faster. This is what I’d run. And it hurts now. I don’t think we had sports bras these days, or at least I didn’t have one. So it was like a whole, yeah, that was that was more my thing. Like kind of ‘why do I have boobs now. What, what are these. Why?’
Le’Nise: And how long did it take you to come to terms with what was happening with your body?
Kaysha: I would say by secondary school, my secondary school was an all girls school. By that time, it I felt really comfortable with everything, you know. I was by that point, you know, eleven years old settled into my menstrual cycle, was regular.
Weirdly, didn’t wear a bra for a long time. I would wear a crop top. This is a conversation my mom neglected to have. Was was didn’t didn’t remember to have me. I wore crop tops for a long time. So that was the only time and again I felt quite different.
I mean, it was like PE. We get undressed and I have my crop top on and all these girls had their bras and they’re like, “Kaysha, why don’t you have a bra?”
I was like, “what? Why do I need a bra?” Bearing in mind, I’ve had boobs for like nearly three years at this point. But yeah, I felt very comfortable, having those, not comfortable, but it feels a bit more normal. I think so. And like I said, there are no boys around so it makes conversations like that a lot easier.
Le’Nise: You said it was easier to have those conversations. Did that did that contribute to how comfortable you felt with your period and your body?
Kaysha: Yeah, I would say so. I definitely would say so. And I think it just it just was normalised, I think is how I would describe it. It wasn’t you know, it wasn’t so much something that I had to really focus on because it was just so normal, like, you know, somebody needed tampons, we’d give them tampons. If somebody didn’t have their pad, we’d give them a pad. And it was just very, very normal. You know, we had, I remember there was one girl in my school who had issues. She had really, really heavy periods, actually. And, um, she had a few sort of accidents at school. And, you know, that that sort of gets around, it was kind of like a gossip, but it was more out of, ‘oh my gosh, is she okay?’ It was very you know, it is very sort of um. Yeah. It was very holding in terms of periods. I think, I’ve again, really blessed in the schools that I went to and the way that we were educated about this stuff. And I think that is really, really important.
Le’Nise: Yeah, it’s very different to the experience that some of my other guests have described of feeling shame or feeling different. Yeah, it’s so it’s very yeah. It’s very, very different. You should be feel very blessed.
Kaysha: Definitely. Yeah. I definitely am. Yeah, and I think a lot of the conversations I have now with my clients, a much younger generation for the most part, they didn’t have that, they weren’t even really taught, you know, how to look after their vulvas, let alone how to manage their periods. So it kind of I was kind of taken aback when I said we had I mean, I remember it was my friend’s sister came in and did a talk for us. This is in secondary school. Teaching us about like hygiene, feminine hygiene and how to, you know, telling us that, you know, sometimes or for the most part try to go to bed without wearing any underwear.
Let your vagina breathe.
And so that’s something I’ve always remembered since secondary school. And I run a nutrition group at the clinic, the eating disorder recovery I work for. And I was yeah, I just kind of realised that, gosh, how lucky am I to have had these conversations because a lot of young girls don’t.
Le’Nise: Yeah. They really don’t. And there is so much so much shame around periods. And I’d say that 90 percent of the guests that have come on have talked, used the word shame or discomfort or feeling different when they’ve talked about how they first learnt about their period.
How would you describe your relationship with your period now?
Kaysha: I would say I have a, I wouldn’t go as far as love / hate because I wouldn’t say I hate it. I mean, I do definitely have this thing where I have to slow down when my period is is on its way and when it’s around, those first two days of menstruation for me. Nowadays in particular and for the last I’d say few years. I can’t. I have to really slow down and have to take it easy, the first couple of days are quite heavy. The second day is very painful.
So this is when, despite my plans, I have to take time out and I have to think about I even think about how I schedule my private clinic because I won’t overload myself in this week. So you know, the work I do is quite is quite deep work. You know, I’m talking with a lot of trauma around your time of the month. Yeah. You know, you’re very sensitive. You’re very emotional. So you have to be so cautious and really think about your own self care in terms of how much you load yourself up. And I, I have to say this information that wasn’t given as a child. And this was something that I learnt in my in my womanhood.
Le’Nise: So you adjust your work to where you are in your menstrual cycle and you slow down. Right before your period and. Right. And during your period. How does that change when you’re ovulating?
Kaysha: I think it’s only, quite literally, only those first, so I would say the week leading up to. And then the first two days is the only time where I need to make adjustments. Other than that, I couldn’t, this is going to sound terrible, I couldn’t tell you where I was in my cycle otherwise.
I just know when it’s coming. I know.
And it’s beyond that. I think it’s really interesting that this sort of, I saw that you made a post about sort of creativity and your cycle. And I was I actually, that’s interesting. So I guess I mean, I’d be quite interested to learn more about that. Yeah. I don’t terribly I don’t pay much attention to the rest of my cycle.
Le’Nise: I think that it was worth thinking about is the what the inverse of what you do around your period. So around ovulation when typically energy rises. So I was thinking about when you teach Pilates, do you notice a difference then? Are you able to do longer holds or do more? I don’t even know any of the names of the Pilates poses. But the one where you’re in the V and you’re holding. It’s like…
Kaysha: The teaser?
Le’Nise: Yeah. Yeah. That one. Yeah. Can you hold that for longer, those sorts of things. Look at the difference between your strength and your energy around ovulation and then compare that to how you feel around your period.
Kaysha: I’m really interested to have a look at that. And there’s a I think she’s a nutritionist, a lady called Stacy Sims and she’s done a lot of work around sort of energy and period. And in particular, looking at sports performance. When you talked about that particular move, the teaser, that is one that I avoid at all costs because I’m just generally not good at it. My legs are generally very heavy. That’s my excuse anyway. But that is really interesting. And I think you. Yeah. I think you’ve inspired me to really have a look at it. It has been something it’s been on my mind. It’s like, oh yeah, I must look into that type thing. But I’m really curious now to see how that have actually works out for me.
Le’Nise: I want to shift gears a bit and talk about your work around eating disorders. So you’re trained as a nutritionist, but you specialise in eating disorders, which is quite, as you say, quite involved work involving a lot of trauma. Tell a little bit more about why you decided to specialise in this area.
Kaysha: Yeah, I would say. I so well, I qualified as a nutritionist almost 10 years ago and my early work wasn’t eating disorder recovery. It was never my intention, not never, definitely wasn’t my intention to go down that route of specialisation. But I was always very aware, despite myself at that point being very much a dieter.
So what I was doing my nutrition training, what I qualified, when I was first practising, I was still the person who was stepping on the scales to know my weight, went into a gym this many times a week and the rest of it. But I always knew that was never the same advice that I would give my clients sitting in front of me. So when I had a client come to me about weight loss, I would never tackle the weight loss head on. I would do the lifestyle around. And if you come into balance, weight might might change. And if it doesn’t? How does it feel that maybe that might be your genetic blueprint and where your body lies? So it was interesting. I always had this little bit of internal battle between what I was doing with my own body versus the advice I’d give my clients. So then what happened was I started working at the Recover clinic and this was sort of me trying to find my place in nutritional therapy because there weren’t many people, you know, particularly not here in the UK. And this is before I even knew, you know, what an anti diet approach was and all this stuff. I couldn’t really find anyone that spoke my language. I you know, or even thought about nutrition in a way that I did. So I just always just felt quite alone. And that’s when I saw it as I did myself. I looked around, see trying to seek my tribe, and I realised that this is, you know, the narrative that we use within eating disorder recovery. So it happened quite nicely as I was doing that research that I found the Recover clinic or they found me. I’m not really sure how that worked out, but I started working there and I instantly knew that this is the work I’m supposed to do. This is the work that I want to do. And I think it’s just there’s a whole group of men, women and children out there who just need to hear a different narrative. So, yeah, that’s that’s kind of how I fell into it.
Le’Nise: Talk a little bit more about what you said about an anti diet approach. What does that mean?
Kaysha: Yeah, I think so. Anti diet just means it’s not focussed on weight loss. So the focus isn’t the weight loss. The focus is health. And when we say health, we’re talking about mental and physical health. And I think that some I think the mental health aspect often gets forgotten. That’s a bit too harsh, but at least sort of side tracked, let’s say, or sort of.
Well, what’s the word I’m looking for, de-prioritised. Well, that’s exactly the word I wanted. And so anti-diet just means we’re actually looking at the person as a whole and looking at behaviours around food and beliefs about food and lifestyle factors such as sleep. You know, exercise as well. But in a really balanced approach. And that weight loss isn’t the isn’t the central piece, isn’t the central part of that work. Yes, a person may lose weight on that journey. Some people need to gain weight. And that might be the case on that journey as well. And that’s what anti diet is, it’s just sort of, you know, that that focus away from weight loss in and of itself. This idea that weight loss is the most important thing for health, which just isn’t true.
Le’Nise: And then your work with women or people with eating disorders. It’s quite specialised and you deal with a lot of trauma. How do you, talk a little bit about how you work with your clients to start to separate their food behaviours from what everything else that’s going on with their health?
Kaysha: You know, I think that the thing I love sharing with clients at the beginning is the idea that when we feed ourself, it’s like the ultimate form of self care. And that blows my mind because they’re often not aware that food to feed and nourish oneself is an act of self care when they’ve been manipulating that for for so many years.
So once they get that idea that, you know, a lot of their, all of these sorts of behaviours are a form of self harm and that it is just a massive red herring that is distracting them from a much deeper issue. And then an eating disorder sort of very successfully, and that’s its whole, I guess, aim is to disconnect the person from their body. So they’re so disconnected, they’re not aware of the emotions that actually, that they hold in the body, they’re not aware that they’re anxious. They’re not aware of their depression. And we think more from the nutritional side, they’re not aware when they’re hungry. They have no connection to their hunger signals. They don’t know when they’re full, they don’t know when they’re tired, they’re usually always tired, but haven’t even connected to the fact that they’re tired. So all of that. So it’s about bringing the awareness to what the real issue is. And this is why we have this cliche saying where it’s it’s not about food, but it is about the food and it’s the it’s not about the food bit, but that you have to hide them like them, too.
That is this isn’t about you wanting to be smaller. This isn’t about that. This is about a trauma or an emotional issue that you’re trying to escape from, that you’re trying to distract from, that you’re not wanting to deal with because it’s too painful. And I get that. This is why I love psychotherapists and you’re and you’re using food and exercise behaviours as a way to. Yeah. To sort of just skip out on that sort of work of just looking at what’s really going on.
Le’Nise: Have you seen a rise in eating disorders?
Kaysha: Yeah. Yeah. It’s going up and it is going up. And I am quite literally probably one of the worst people to ask about statistics. But I looked this one up for this very conversation. And actually what we’ve seen, is that from, say, 2005, 2006, there’s been a 34 percent increase in admissions for eating disorders. That’s a lot. And I was surprised at that number. I knew there had been an increase, but I didn’t expect it to be that number. So we’re looking at seven percent each year.
I think a lot of that has to do with more awareness around it as well. But it’s the issue is huge here in the UK. And, you know, these are the ones that we know, these eating disorders are so nuanced. And we, a lot of people get missed. People of colour often get missed and often don’t get the diagnosis because it isn’t something that’s considered when they present in a GP surgery. But yet eating disorders like binge eating disorders, which is the second most common form of eating disorder. This is one that people don’t often reach out and get help for, because they think they’re just eating loads, because they they think well, they think that because that quote unquote dieting is actually restriction, but because they’re dieting, then they suddenly have this binge eating. They think it’s to do with this sort of play, the restrict / binge cycle. I mean, they often don’t seek help for it also because eating disorders bring so much shame that a person doesn’t even want to tell somebody about the behaviours that they’re engaging in, which is always a real relief when they come into my clinic and I’m just like, you know, what you’re telling me without sort of them minimising or sort of, you know, trying to take away from their experience. I really liked them to know that this is not uncommon behaviour that you’re talking about, not uncommon with eating disorders. And what what you’re you know, how they present. And it’s always such a relief when they hear that, because I just think that the only ones doing these damaging behaviours.
Le’Nise: Can you talk a little bit more about the types of eating disorders that you see for people who are hearing what you’re saying about eating disorders and think that and think they might have something but aren’t sure what it is.
Kaysha: So I would say that over so eating disorders is that although we have all these different ones. You have anorexia, which has different different types of subtypes. You’ve got bulimia. You’ve got binge eating disorder. And then you have and I always have to check because it is it recently changed. But you have other specified feeding or eating disorders. So one that doesn’t come under any of those categories. And so the common thing from all of these eating disorders is the restriction. Every single one of those eating disorders does have a restrictive nature to them. So that’s the first thing. But they all are also very preoccupied, preoccupied with their weight and wanting to be smaller and not really, not really understanding why that is and often not being able to see their bodies for what it is as well. If you think about anorexia, in some cases of anorexia, you can have a mix in different body types. But for talking about anorexia in a smaller body, they don’t realise how small their bodies are. And this is the drive to be smaller and smaller and smaller. And, you know, and there there are always going to be nuances to this that, you know, not everybody is focussed on weight, actually, but for the most part, that’s what you most commonly see. So this preoccupation with food, food is everything. It’s something that they think about constantly. But I mean, like constantly, obsessively, because they’re hungry for the restriction. And and so, yes, this preoccupation with food, but also a fear of food. So not being able to navigate social situations, not being able to sit and have dinner with family and friends because they’re afraid of what this this meal in front of them is going to do to their bodies and it’s going to make them gain weight or it’s just going to make, you know, their thoughts around their body really loud, really heightened negative thoughts around body image and self. So these are these are the common things that I would say that people see.
And then the other part would be in some cases. So I’m always tempted to say some cases here because I want to make sure that, I want to be I want to be clear that not everybody will experience it the same. But these are common symptoms anyway. Overexercising, so really going all out when it comes to exercising. Exercise being something that they say it’s a non-negotiable. So I have to do this. I have to do this, this, this this and this, regardless of how I feel. Which, again, if I’m going to go back to this whole thing, you know, this whole, you know, linking it in with energy and your period and your cycle, which I think is been interesting. But, you know, a person who is is using exercise as a way to distract from difficult emotions will exercise come hell or high water. It’s obsessive, it’s compulsive. Yeah, and so a lot of their brain space, a lot of that time is just taken up by those things, changing my body, making my body smaller, restricting food, counting this, tracking that, weighing myself, measuring myself, body checking. And it just it just keeps going.
Le’Nise: And given the work that you do around eating disorders and people really restricting themselves, how do you then, what do you think about this whole rise of anti diet culture, which can be quite strong online, whether it be, you know, people saying things like F you diet culture and really taking it not to the other end, but going really tearing up all of the templates around how we’re supposed to think about our body.
Kaysha: Yeah. It, you know, it’s this is this thing when you, when you when you see the narrative that is aimed towards diet culture, it’s aimed at diet culture, it’s not aimed at people who are on diets. And so I think that’s really important to sort of to sort of to highlight that is this is the narrative of the diet culture that tells you that smaller is better and that I think, you know, you almost and I get it, I try to be a bit more direct, but gentle, I guess.
And I tend to swear on social media. I don’t think I hope not anyway. But I tend to be more gentle in my in my approach.
But I am very direct about the culture that I am, in some ways, attacking or at least protesting against, because that culture is actually quite strong and quite inflammatory in itself. And if and for those who are in the diet, for those who are in that diet culture, so those of those who subscribe to that diet culture, I look at some of the messages that you read there, sometimes I think it’s just it gets to the point where you don’t even know, is this is an eating disorder or is this is a diet now because it’s very disordered, the behaviours that they’re trying to promote. And this is, you know, when you’re when you’re passionate about eating disorder recovery and you’re advocating for a group of a group of people who are subscribing to that and it is quite literally killing them. You do get very, very passionate and you do have to be quite strong in your language about around the diet culture. But equally, they. Yes, it’s that narrative that thinner is better and that’s what we’re attacking. And this idea is not just thinner is better. It’s it’s it’s it’s. Yeah. That your aesthetic somehow have some holds some, some kind of value for your worth, which it doesn’t. Our bodies are our bodies. Our bodies change. And so you’ve got people who live in all different types of bodies. We have fat. We have thin. We have curves. We have muscle. Have you want to label it? We are diverse as humans. And then this idea that diet culture where they’ve got this template body. This is what we’re all striving for, as though it was accessible for everybody. Is that even possible for everyone? You’ve got people literally spending their whole lives trying to achieve this aesthetic, which they may never achieve, or if they do, they’ve done it at the risk of their own physical or mental health. So. It can sound quite inflammatory and it can sound quite I don’t want to say violent, but I can get, I get why people get annoyed as some of my posts and some of those posts because they could take it personally. But it’s because they subscribe to the culture and it’s the culture that we’re attacking, not people who are on diets. I’ve been there myself. I was there for over a decade.
Le’Nise: I want to ask you two questions, first about what you said about people who are on these diets, who then it’s more like disordered eating. What do you mean by that?
Kaysha: Yes or no? So it wasn’t that people who are on diets like disordered eating but a lot of the behaviours that they will advise and this is particularly, I would say I’m talking about social media here. So I can’t say what dietitians and nutritionists are saying in their office because but particularly the things that I’ve seen and certainly clients have come to me and been told some interesting things from their health care providers.
But again, you don’t know where that person was trained. You don’t know that person’s qualifications. But anyway, things like this idea that we have to manipulate our hunger. This idea that when you’re hungry, you need to do all sorts of things other than eat to manage that hunger. This is disordered. This isn’t normal. And if you’re hungry. That’s a sign that you ought to eat. Yeah. You get these ideas of like go brush your teeth, just go to bed earlier, avoid your hunger. Hunger is bad. And this this is disordered. And so it’s not to say that a person who engages in this has disordered eating. I mean, I couldn’t possibly diagnose that. But it’s to say that these quote unquote techniques that they’re trying to prescribe are all disordered. They’re not a normal way of eating. That doesn’t create a healthy relationship with food and your body. And that’s an extreme one, sort of the brush your teeth. But when you’re feeling hungry, I’ve seen that out there. I’ve seen at times and I’ve seen it in magazines. And, you know, this is what people pick up on them. Remember, you know, maybe when you’re hungry, you’re not hungry, you’re thirsty. I mean, if you don’t know if you’re hungry or thirsty, then we need to look at why you don’t know whether you’re hungry or thirsty rather than thinking about manipulating hunger by drinking a glass of water.
Le’Nise: I have to say I do see that, people not being able to differentiate between physical hunger and thirst. And also people not being able to differentiate between physical hunger and this emotional hunger and eating for emotional reasons. And I, I certainly don’t specialise in eating disorders, but it does. Some of these behaviours do come into my work with my clients, especially this idea of delineating between physical and emotional hunger. Because it’s this in this culture, we get we get taught. Oh, you’re upset. Dive into Ben and Jerry’s. You’re feeling great. Oh have some cake. You know, and so people can’t differentiate to differentiate between this. I’m I’m actually hungry. My body is sending me signs, but it’s time to eat vs.. Oh, I feel sad or I feel happy. So I think that really interesting because we see this sort of programming gets taught at a really young age.
Kaysha: Even with emotional eating and comfort eating, the way I approach that with my clients, who have not been able to differentiate between emotional hunger and physical hunger. Is that, you know, emotional eating isn’t in and of itself a bad coping mechanism. But if it’s your only coping mechanism, then you need to look at some of a, you know, fill up a toolbox of self care because it can’t always be food. And that’s also not helpful. But, yes, I sort of. And we do see we’ve been conditioned. We’ve seen it on films, we see in the ads. So people see tend to turn to ice cream and they’ve had a breakup. Okay. But what about journaling? What about your mum. But it isn’t to say that emotional eating in and of itself is bad.
Look, I say it’s just when it’s the only coping mechanism that person has. And because I. Yeah, it’s all about connecting to the body. What is the what is the signal that my body’s telling me? What is my body asking for, ie. rest. Is it water? Is it food? Is it.
Emotions.
Le’Nise: And you talked about the difference between diets and diet culture. There are always people there will always be people out there who want to lose weight. And what I’ve seen now in my clinic is that people feel ashamed about talking about wanting wanting to lose weight or feel better in their body. And they feel better when they’re at a smaller size. And if they talk about this on Instagram or any social media, it’s like they get attacked.
‘Look, your body at any size loved who you are. You shouldn’t feel like you have to lose weight.’ But they say, well, but I just want to you know, I want to slim down. I want to feel better in my clothes. What do you say to that?
Kaysha: I say I have so many responses and my head just went to so many places. I’m just going to try and categorise and line them up and just decide which way I’m going to go for first.
I completely sympathise with somebody who feels like they need to be smaller in order to feel better about their body. I think it is, you know, my my go to response to that. And is it is that is not about your body being smaller why you want to feel better about it is because of the way you think about your body. You know, our bodies change regardless. So this idea that if my body is smaller, I feel better. I can tell you now that that is not always going to be the case. A person will get smaller in their body and get to maybe that quote unquote goal weight and still have hang ups about their body because it wasn’t the body that was the issue. It was what bodies they they see to be good bodies. So who were they looking at? What bodies are they idealising and what are they trying to do, mimic within their own bodies to try and achieve, like I I say that might not be available to them through their genetic blueprint, through the resources that they have available to them. You know, have they got time to do all these hours in the gym. Have they got the money to buy those foods that people are advocating and advertising. Sorry. So there’s that. So the idea that, yes, it smaller doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re gonna feel better about your body. Not saying it doesn’t, but not necessarily. There’s a there’s an emotional piece that needs to be there in terms of healing your relationship with your body, whether it’s bigger or smaller. So that’s separate from its size. The other part is I think it isn’t helpful when if somebody says that they feel a certain type of way about their body, it’s not for anybody else to comment on their post and come with what we call toxic positivity of just love your body, because if it was that easy, the person would quote unquote, just love their body. That’s dismissive of what that person’s experiencing. And, you know, I appreciate that when it often comes from people, often it always comes from people who already live in a smaller body. So they have what we call thin privilege. And for that person with thin privilege to tell somebody in a bigger body, oh, you should just love your body, has no idea what it’s like for that person to exist in that body. So to just say that you should just isn’t it’s not that simple because of the weight stigma that that person has encountered throughout their lives, which in itself brings a lot of shame. So when you talk about that shame that they feel about wanting to lose weight and people’s reaction, that shame is also past shames of people making comments about their weight, perhaps, and that can come from childhood. That can come from parents, that could come from, you know, even your health professionals. We have a big thing about weight bias that goes on in our health care system at the moment. So there’s that as well. I mean, you know, if a person if that’s where a person is in their life and that’s all they know, then that’s all they know. And it’s about, you know, my work is very much about meeting people where they’re at. So. Ninety five percent, probably even more than may I maybe go as far as is a hundred actually percent of people who will come to my clinic want to lose weight. So it would be so disrespectful of me to sit there and be like you shouldn’t lose weight because that’s is not that easy. It’s so disrespectful to the whole process of emotional turmoil that they’ve been going through.
So I think we do have this culture of toxic positivity on social media that doesn’t help. And we kind of have to remember there is a person behind that post. Yeah. And just be mindful of what their experience might have been, existing in the body that they may have.
Le’Nise: Yeah, I think your words really resonate with me. I have been on my own personal journey with with weight loss and weight gain. And I know even with the work I do, I wouldn’t say I’m 100 percent reconciled with my body. You know, I had messages from when I was quite young about, oh, you know, people meet you and they say, oh, you’ve lost weight.
Or they say, oh, you’ve gained weight and for a long time, whenever I saw my mother, the first thing she would say would. And it became a joke. It was, ‘How’s your weight? How’s your hair? How’s your teeth?’ Those would be the first things that she would ask me. And that would. That we would. I had to make it into a joke because otherwise I would get really angry. I remember this one time we were I went to see her and I was going through this big emotional time and I had gained quite a lot of weight. And the first thing she said to me was, “Le’Nise, what’s going on with you? You’ve gained a lot of weight.” And we had this huge fight on the street where I said, “why do you always have to ask me about that? You know, can’t you see that? Can’t you ask me about everything else that I’m going through?” So and then for me, it’s been and I’m getting quite personal here. It’s been a real journey ever since. And I know I’m not 100 percent reconciled with with the weight that I am. And, you know, I would be lying if I said that, you know, I feel I haven’t had thoughts about losing weight because I do. So this is where I some of the things that you’re saying on an intellectual level, that makes total sense. But emotionally, I’m kind of like, OK.
Kaysha: I totally hear you, Le’Nise. Absolutely. And, you know, this idea that this I think even the idea of them. Well, first of all. So I should go back to say that it’s really difficult, that experience for somebody not seeing you and only seeing your weight as as though it were some indicator of how you were. And we do that a lot in our society, too. We do praise people when they lose weight, which which feeds into that narrative of, oh, well, when I’m smaller. That’s a good thing. That means when I was bigger, what were people thinking about me. And it kind of confirms those sort of negative belief that person holds about themselves. That’s really difficult. And I can one hundred percent sympathise with you because my mum to this day does the exact same when she sees me. It’s “I think you’ve lost weight, haven’t you. Oh I think you’ve put on”.
At this point, my weight doesn’t really fluctuate, so I don’t know what she said. So I mean that’s me. But that’s beside the point anyway. But it is one of the first things that comes out of her mouth. But this is generational. So it’s like we’ve got to think about where they’re getting that narrative from.
And, you know, it’s not just our mums. That goes way. It’s gonna go way back. Right. So there’s that. But, yes, I hear you, this idea of loving your body. I think it’s a really unrealistic thing. Again, this toxic positivity that we see on social media. It’s not that you have to love your body and be positive about it. You sometimes you don’t love your body, myself included. Some things you just don’t. And oftentimes that’s not because as an issue with your body, oftentimes you just have an issue with something else going on and it gets directed at your body or just sometimes you’re just not happy with, you know, I feel bloated today. And that’s okay. You know, we it’s not about shoulding, there’s are no should here. It’s about thinking about how you want to exist for the rest of your life. Do you want to exist the rest of your life thinking about what if only I lost an extra X amount pounds and that would make everything fine? The likelihood is that won’t be the case? You know, there are going to be days like I say that you love your body, there are going to be days that you don’t and there are going to be days where you’re just indifferent. And I’m very much now doing a lot of work with my clients about feeling neutral about their bodies, because our bodies aren’t who we are. They don’t tell. They don’t tell you anything. I have a real issue with focusing on the body. I’ve had to focus on my body literally all my life. I’ve talked about, you know, breasts at a very young age. Got a lot of attention for that. I was always very athletic, very muscular. Naturally, I get a lot of praise about that. Lots of comments about that, this is just my body, it is not a commodity. I don’t, I mean, give me compliments, like, please. I love it. But it’s this idea that it somehow is it’s something to be praised all the time.
And actually, I think to myself. Sometimes I think of people, are they seeing my intelligence. Are they seeing other parts of my personality or they just seeing my body? That’s difficult. And so and that goes on no matter what your body shape is. That can’t be the thing that people see you as. And it’s about that internal what you have to do as well to think about, okay, I am more than my body. What are my values? What would I tell my what I tell a client sat in front of me? What would I tell my daughter? What would I tell my sister?
Le’Nise: Yes. So thinking about everything that we’ve talked about on the show today, if you want a listener to leave, take one thing away. What would you want that to be?
Kaysha: I would say. The word that always comes into my mind, and I think the word that I’m really drawn to at the moment is being authentic and thinking about what authentic health means to you. What’s within your genetic capabilities, what’s within your resources of time, money, your mental capacity. So just being really authentic with yourself and just being, you know, really self compassionate in that sense, this idea that, you know, everybody can afford to do the stuff that diet, culture and wellness industry. I would even go that far, prescribes, isn’t isn’t available to everybody. It’s not even suitable for everybody’s palate.
So it’s just that, you know, that being authentic.
And also, you know, as a person who comes for Caribbean heritage, I don’t see any Caribbean food in in these recommendations.
You know, that whole thing of this. Like what? What brings you joy? And then, you know, just honour that. We are and this is a little bit deep, but genuinely, you know, we’re here for a short amount of time we’re not here forever. So really thinking about what do you want to spend your good brain power and time on this earth doing? And I think you find, you know, from a personal point, I already lost ten, fifteen years of my life to trying to manipulate my weight. I refused to do that any further from now. I had to do a long healing journey and just a little self compassion. And it’s ongoing work. It’s not overnight. I still have to do that work. It’s never going to end. I still have to, you know, read. I still have to meditate. I have to do self care things, tools, my body. So, you know. Look after your mental health and your physical health. Your mental health, you know, shapes your physical health.
Le’Nise: There’s this great Nora Ephron quote where she talks about if she could go back, she would be wearing a bikini. From the age of like twenty one to thirty five, you know, so it’s like this. Just wear the bikini. Wear this swimsuit. Go on the beach.
And you know, you don’t want to look back thinking, why did I just lay there in my clothes while everyone else was having fun.
Kaysha: Yeah. Oh I love that. Absolutely.
Le’Nise: So where can listeners should find out more about you and your work?
Kaysha: So I’m more active these days on Instagram @kayshathomas. I have my Web site, www.kayshathomas.com. I half laugh there because I’m just like I’m not blogging anywhere near as much as I should be, but that’s what my Web site is.
That’s where you’ll find details about me. And then as of next week, my YouTube channel as well. So I’ll send you the link, Le’Nise, and you can link it up in the show notes, as they say.
Le’Nise: Yes. Yes. We will indeed link it in the show notes. Thank you so much for coming on the show today, Kaysha. It was really interesting and illuminating speaking to you.
Kaysha: Thank you for having me. I really enjoyed it, Le’Nise.
On today’s episode of Period Story podcast, I’m so happy to share my conversation with Mika Simmons, the award winning filmmaker, actress and founder of the Lady Garden Foundation and the Happy Vagina. Listen to hear a really tender conversation about navigating trauma and loss, and of course, the story of Mika’s first period.
Mika says that her mum was so excited when she first got her period and threw her a little party to celebrate. This lovely start was unfortunately not mirrored at school, where she was teased and bullied for getting her period. Listen to hear Mika talk about how this led to a time of confusion and pain.
In time for #gynaecologicalcancerawarenessmonth, Mika shares the story of losing her beloved mother to ovarian cancer. Mika very poignantly talks about how she was able to heal after this seismic experience and how starting the Lady Garden Foundation was a part of this healing. Listen to hear about the incredible work the foundation is doing to raise awareness about gynaecological cancers.
We talked about body image, self-pleasure, orgasms and the importance of female desire. Mika says that it’s important to get past the discomfort of having these conversations and that by starting small or what feels comfortable for you, we can start to find a vocabulary that feels right for us. Thank you so much for coming on the show, Mika!
Mika Simmons is an award-winning film maker, actress and host of The Happy Vagina.
Mika has worked on a diverse range of creative projects for stage and screen, including Frenchman’s Creek (ITV), Unforgotten (ITV/PBS), the BAFTA award winning Falling Apart (Ch4) and Film London’s Balcony, which won the Crystal Bear at the Berlin Film Festival in 2017. Most recently, she can be seen in Dictynna Hood’s Us Among The Stones in competition at the BFI London Film Festival in October 2019.
In 2019, Mika’s directorial debut Rain Stops Play short film won Best Comedy at Houston Film Festival and was nominated for Best Comedy at the BAFTA qualifying CBFF Wales and Portobello Film Festivals; UnderWire and Fragments Film Festival in London.
Mika’s latest project, The Happy Vagina is a podcast showcasing a huge variety of heartfelt, honest, uplifting, fun and personal experiences. In a world where the word ‘vagina’ can feel taboo or make some feel uncomfortable, The Happy Vagina Podcast opens up a dialogue about fundamental issues, experimentation and lack of education around women’s experiences and gynaecological health; aiming not only to educate but also entertain and enlighten listeners in a supportive and empowering way. Mika possesses an unmatchable capability to relate to and understand people, and is a poised and self-assured interviewer who, when necessary, brings a great sense of fun to any interview.
In 2017 Mika was chosen as one of 40 inspirational British women to front L’Oréal Lancôme’s powerful women campaign.
Mika is also a co-founder of Lady Garden Foundation & Mental Health Mates.
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SHOW TRANSCRIPT
Le’Nise: On today’s episode, we have Mika Simmons.
Mika is an award winning winning filmmaker, actress, founder of the Lady Garden Foundation and The Happy Vagina. Mika has worked on a diverse range of creative projects for stage and screen. Mika’s latest project, The Happy Vagina, is a podcast showcasing a huge variety of heartfelt, uplifting, fun and personal experiences. In a world where the word vagina can feel taboo or make some feel uncomfortable, The Happy Vagina podcast opens up a dialogue about fundamental issues, experimentation and a lack of education around women’s experiences and gynaecological health, aiming not only to educate, but also entertain and enlighten listeners in a supportive and empowering way. Welcome to the show.
Mika: Thank you so much. It’s so good to be here. Good morning.
Le’Nise: Let’s start off by getting into the story of your very first period. Can you remember what happened? Can you share with us what happened?
Mika: I mean, Le’Nise, let’s just drive straight in the deep end.
I was watching May I Destroy You last night. I don’t know if you’ve been watching it, but there’s an episode where she has sex with a new man and she’s on her period. It’s extraordinary. If you haven’t watched it yet, you’ve got to watch it. Everyone is looking at.
I mean, I started my periods really young. When we were away camping. I had an extraordinary mother who was part of the feminist movement in the 70s, and so it was a really turbulent time in a way for women. I think that women were still trying to find out what being a feminist was. And my mother was definitely on the front line kind of pushing things forwards and writing. She’s, you know, she’s written in books and written essays, so, in a way, her kind of attitude, outlook and then kind of power towards life was a reaction to her upbringing and her upbringing, we’re Irish Catholic working class and immigrants to this country. And as immigrants, my grandmother, I feel emotional, my grandmother was a really hardworking woman and an amazing woman.
But, you know, just worked. I don’t think that my grandmother and also the Catholic Church doesn’t encourage, at that time, did not encourage, you know, kind of biological or sexual talk with women. I think many of the reasons that periods and sex is so damaged and shrouded for women and men is because of religion. So my mother was, you know, kind of fighting against what she’d experienced. And so for me, when I got my period, it was like the biggest celebration in the whole world, you know, like there was no hiding it. And then she threw this party for me. We were camping in the South of France and ,I what I remember, I remember being quite confused. I don’t remember. I think I was, I think it caught us all a bit off guard because I was so young.
So I think that, like, I went to the shower and it started and I hadn’t already had a chat with my mum. There’d been no like, you’re gonna get your menstrual cycle at some stage and this is what it’s for and this is how you should love it. And it’s the most amazing thing in the world where life comes from. It was just like, oh, I’m bleeding. And, you know, when I went off and I came back and she’d bought Viennetta ice cream and bought some champagne. Not for me. I was under age.
But she told everyone in the tents around us cause she was just so unbelievably excited about the whole thing. It was mortifying. I did not consent to the party and I do, I mean, I love her for it. And as you will know, I lost my mother to ovarian cancer. So, you know, I don’t have any resentment towards her for her choice. I do also think it’s really important to talk to, you know, all young women and daughters about what it is that they want, because I think that period of feminism was very bullish, rightly bullish. It needed to be bullish when when change needs to happen. When when people have been oppressed for a long time. Sometimes you have to be bullish to move things through. And then you have to come back into being part of a negotiating an in a gentler way, which I think feminism now is so much more.Everyone’s a feminist, you know, like Obama standing on the stage saying this is what a feminist looks like. Yeah. So, yes, that’s what happened and it was tough because I was young and I got teased loads. I was using sanitary towels. The boys at school saw them in my bag. I got really teased for it. I lied and said, I don’t know. They said, “Have you got your period?” I said, “no.” I mean, of course I have, I’ve got sanitary towels in my bag. It was just, you know, it was painful. It was painful and confusing.
Le’Nise:What did you say to the boys when they teased you?
Mika: I didn’t stick up for myself. I was thinking about this this morning, preparing to come on here. It’s very poignant for me, this stuff around teasing and bullying at the moment, it’s something that I’m working on a huge amount in my personal development in my life, because there seems to have been a pattern for me where I don’t really stick up for myself or I don’t stick up for myself in the right way. So when the boys teased me, I didn’t say anything and I and I and I and I internalised it. Actually, I internalised the shame.
I felt other, I felt wrong. And I. And I. And actually, it was during a period of time. I had a bit of a bad start in school where I was in a in a local primary school feeding through to a local secondary school. And some of the girls at the the the bigger school were waiting outside my primary school. When I finished to, to threaten me. And I didn’t tell anyone about that either.
And I went to my secondary school kind of therefore on the back foot. I went to my big school really frightened. I don’t know why I didn’t tell anyone. I think the thing is about bullying is mostly you think it’s your fault. That’s really one of the biggest strands through bullying, is that people somehow it’s so confusing when people bully you for no reason that you just basically can’t, it is a weird sort of paranoia where your brain can’t compute why this is happening. So therefore, it kind of must be something you’ve done. So I didn’t stick up for myself with the boys.
And if I’m honest, what I did this was the thing I was thinking about this morning, is I got tough. So in order to protect myself, I kind of joined, I think when you were bullied. This there’s there’s three options. One is that you fight them. The other is that you completely come away and take another river. And the other is that you that you join them.
And to a certain extent, I joined that kind of crowd of kids that weren’t that kind. So my first couple of years at school, it was only it was only the first couple of years. But the first couple of the years, I would suggest I was kind of quite naughty. And that’s how I dealt with being teased, was I surrounded myself with people who could stick up for me.
Le’Nise: And so you became part of this gang that was not very kind and would bully others, but then did that stop the bullying towards you?
Mika: Yeah. Yeah, it did.
But then I self-harmed. It’s really interesting because I think that within people that particularly children are so cruel, you know, children are so cruel and I think if you end up, I mean, actually at around 14, 15, I really rightsized it all and started to work really hard at school and there was some interventions that happened that brought me back to, I would say, my real self. But during that period when I was like hanging out with the naughty set, I was over sexualised. I was objectified by the boys that we were hanging out with, the boys at school, very aggressive. Obviously, I started my period. So actually, there was quite a lot of sexual energy around me. I was blessed with some quite good looks so I got a lot of male attention. And I’m hanging out in that, I think, you know, children who bully or are naughty or kind of the wayward gang are often in a lot of pain.
They haven’t learnt it yet because they go, ‘I know or I’m gonna, like, bunk off school and not go to gym class and smoke behind the shops.’ They’re in pain. And when we’re in pain physically, our cells that are in pain orient towards other people that are in pain. So that we can feel safe. It’s not safe, but it feels safe and it feels like what we know.
And so, yeah, it did stop the bullying, but I just self-harmed. I drank way too young. I was drinking, you know, and I and I was and I was and I said, as you know, over sexualised. So I had my periods and I was like, my womanhood started age 13. I started you know, I started behaving like grown-up when I was a child.
Le’Nise: What would you say your relationship with your body was back then?
Mika: Really confused. Confused is the most, you know, poignant word. I think the whole time was very confusing for me. My body was being objectified by a lot of men older and my age and therefore and I didn’t understand it. I didn’t understand.
You know, I hope for every young woman that she has the experience where she gets to know her body in a gentle, timely manner.
And, you know, we’ve been talking about this a lot on my podcast The Happy Vagina about how self pleasure that in order to really have a great sexual relationship with someone, you have to really learn your own body first. That was not my experience. You know, my experience was it was it was a slam dunk.
I was, I was I was like a horse up and running, but before I had had any conversations, you know. Anyway, it sounds like a sob story, but I don’t feel like that about it. I feel that all of that made me the woman that I am today. So I don’t have any kind of resentment or, you know, hang ups around it. I wouldn’t wish it on other people. I don’t I don’t think that it was the best start, but it certainly, it certainly gave me, I went so far that way, most of the time I’ve been back in the other camp since, so yeah, I think everyone has a time when they’re walking in between one camp and another.
Le’Nise: Yeah. And you went, you had that time of being across two different camps, as you say, when you were in school and then when you left school and went on to the next phase of your life, how would you describe your relationship with your your body and your period?
Mika: Well, I one of the ways that I, you know, thrust myself out of that naughty period at school was like starting to take acting classes, so I had this amazing year head at my school called Mrs Barrett. And she invited my mother and I to go and have a conversation with her. And she highlighted the fact that, you know, I was wearing makeup at school, you know. Oh, I was renegade. And she she was you know, she she said, you know, Mika’s very, very bright and she’s not using that.
And they asked me what it was that I wanted to do. And I said that I wanted to go, there was no drama at my school. So they they got me some some acting classes and I started to compete.
And that really saved me intellectually and emotionally and really changed my life. I would suggest that the pressure on me from that stage on in terms of my body possibly did not heal itself. So many of the other areas healed, but I went from being kind of objectified for my body to wanting my body to be what I saw in the movies.
That that gap. So there was definitely some periods of severe under eating. I wouldn’t suggest that I was anorexic, but I controlled my food for a very long time. Particularly around my drama school years.
And at university, in leading into going to drama school, you know, it’s a huge pressure on in the industry to to be thin and in in the film industry. Sometimes I think, you know, it’s kept me healthy. I love food.
But I do think that there’s many benefits of needing to be fit and healthy and strong for my work.
And there was a moment when my periods almost stopped. I think that that was probably the worst moment. When in terms of my my eating habits and from that point onwards, I started to eat properly, you know, and then. And then of course, just after drama school, my mom got sick with ovarian cancer.
So I you know, I had an extremely stressful late 20s. I think I was in a lot of pain and quite, quite heightened anxiety.
Le’Nise: And how did you deal with that?
Mika: Therapy.
Yeah, therapy mostly. It was a, it was a huge shock. I’d just left drama school and got my first kind of big job and I was up and running really, and all of my dreams were coming true.
And Mum thought she had fibroids or the doctors were telling her she had fibroids. So we we went we went on holiday together. We came back and she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. And she did get put onto a trial that was a new type of medication, chemotherapy that they thought was going to work. And it did work, but the cancer came back quite rapidly. So she actually passed away nine months after her diagnosis. Yeah. So I was 25 going into 26, so, you know, super young. And I think that had an impact on me and my body. I think I, I really lost my faith over that period. I really lost my faith in life. I had this kind of like, feeling that life was quite a dark thing.
You know, and the, yeah, I lost my faith, I think, for a while.
Le’Nise: Can you tell us a little bit about how you found your way back or if not back to where you were before, back towards something different? Maybe towards a place of healing?
Mika: You know, I think it has taken a really long time.
I think I feel, I feel it, it’s taken me most of the time since, you know, it’s taken a good 15 years to actually really heal it.
I had a lot of therapy and that helped me come back to a more spiritualway of managing life. And I had a lot of treatment, I had a lot of cranial psychotherapy, which I believe really gets rid of trauma in the body.
And I think probably the final healing was starting The Lady Garden Foundation because I have a feeling that we don’t fully heal things until we take an action that rightsizes it, so you know, I sort of like when when you fall in love and you break up with someone, you can have completely let go of that person, but I don’t believe you completely let go of them until you meet the next person.
And it is a bit the same with this, that while I’ve done everything I could to heal and let the grief come and then let the grief go. There was an action around the miracle that happened with starting Lady Garden. It really was a miracle that my next door neighbour in the apartment block I live in ended up being Head of Oncology for research into gynaecological cancers at the Royal Marsden, you know, I mean, that’s just a real miracle. Then she asked me if I wanted to do a project with her to raise money.
And for me, I really wanted to do the awareness raising. And I think that was the final, final, you know, the final integration.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it. I would say you didn’t get to you know, I just I talked about this a lot. I, I feel that because I’d only just left drama school. I was still a bit of a child.
I think other people at that age are very grown up. They’ve started working since 18 and actually, you know, but I somehow or other was still dependent on my mum. And I suspect there was also a level of co-dependency with my mom because of my earlier experiences.
I think she was very firmly in my camp. She championed me in a way that was, you know, kind of beyond beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. She really, she was she was my biggest cheerleader, you know, and and so the loss of that at that age was significant for me. And there was a period of time when I was flailing, trying to find where I sat in life until I think the real kind of deep realisation was that it was me I needed to find. I needed to find me and love myself like my mother had loved me and that no one else would probably ever love me like that again.
And that it may not have been that healthy that she did. I don’t know. I mean, I wish I could just say I was thinking about something the other day and just thinking it would be so nice just to ask Mum about that. I can’t. I mean I can in my prayers. Yeah.
Le’Nise:I love what you said about your mom being your biggest champion. And I love, I have a six year old son and I love, really that I read something once where someone wrote your child should feel like you’re their biggest champion, that you’re always going to be on their side. And that has always stuck with me. And I love that, you know, you said that about your mom because that feeling of always feeling, knowing that someone will be in your corner is so powerful in life, because often you feel like, wow, you know who is actually in my corner. So to have had that experience is so powerful.
Mika: Life’s hard.
Le’Nise: Yes, yes. Yes.
Mika: I mean, sometimes I’m like, what is this thing called life?
Mika: Yeah. So we’re a tiny charity, actually, with a really, really loud voice. When Dr. Banerjee, who is my next door neighbour, asked me whether or not I would do some fundraising to help her explore research into the cancers that I lost my mum to, I said yes. But I said there was an absolute prerequisite that I was allowed to do an awareness campaign alongside it, which is where the Lady Garden campaign came from. And Dr. Banerjee has developed a drug called Olaparib, which has now been green lit, and it’s been rolled up by a pharmaceutical company and it treats women with varying cancer with great results. So that side of it has been really phenomenal. And we fundraised for that by quite high level events. I’ve got an amazing cofounding committee who they love doing kind of fundraisers. So they’re. And they’re amazing at it. I don’t think I’m so good at that part of it. What I’m really good at is using my voice to raise awareness. And the awareness side of it is just absolutely fundamental. So when we started the project in 2014, part of the reason we called it Lady Garden was because we couldn’t really call it vagina. But obviously now you know that it’s a different landscape and the awareness that, I believe the awareness that we started back then has been part of the impact for women all over the world in terms of starting to reclaim our bodies. We started to, we may have given it a nickname, but we absolutely were talking about the fundamentals around gynaecological health. And, you know, and then the Me Too movement happened, which then started a huge revolution in women’s, in women’s bodies and women’s wellbeing. And I think at the moment, one of the things that I’m really interested in exploring and why I started my podcast and the project, The Happy Vagina, is that somehow or other still we are only talking about gynaecological issues or pregnancy in terms of women’s health.
So there’s now a movement towards talking about desire and actually how we integrate talking about gynaecological health in all areas of our life. Because at the moment you kind of get these highlights, you get your period starts, you’re pregnant, your menopause and hopefully not, but you may within that have some illness, gynaecological illness. Most of us have something at some stage, whether it just be from candida through to something more serious like my mother had. And those are when we talk about it, it’s like gynae problem.
And we don’t kind of somehow really talk about that area of our body all the time, like it’s, you know, like we would do about our mental health and there is a movement happening towards integrating it into a more daily kind of chat. I’ve just been part of a book that’s talking about young women and periods and teaching them, which is We Are The Hood. And, you know, so that’s going to be a game changer, you know. But again, the focus is kind of on when you get your period. And I’m just really excited to get women talking more about desire and how to look after ourselves sexually.
How to look after ourselves in terms of consent.
How to look after ourselves in terms of, you know, allowing that everybody to be part of our whole being.
Le’Nise:What do you think women need to do if they don’t feel comfortable with these conversations? What do you think they need to do to get comfortable?
Mika: It’s so funny, isn’t it, because I was talking to a really good girlfriend of mine who works in marketing for a huge women’s brand yesterday, and she said, ‘I still find hard to say the word vagina’ and it’s that, it’s just start saying it’s saying it, start talking about it. One of the things that I think as human beings, we do things that we cower together. So identification within friendships is really, really powerful. So if you go to the gym with a female friend and they are hiding their body or go into the changing room. You will probably feel the same shame, we pick up each other’s shame really easily. Just to be super clear, if you want to change in private, that’s totally cool. But what you need to look at is where it’s coming from, if it’s coming from because you’re ashamed of your body, at least acknowledge that and own it. And I think that the identification that we can bring in so we mirror our friends and just to say to a girlfriend, ‘I’ve got candida. I’ve got thrush.’
‘I’m struggling with cystitis. My periods are a bit weird at the moment. My period came three days early. I had loads of sex,’you know, like just to kind of start integrating the very light vocabulary and dialogue with your female friends or with your children, if it’s appropriate, or with your partner.
Just drop it in. Tiny, small things. You don’t have to come out with a big you know, doesn’t have to be a monumental, seismic moment.
I’m now going to talk about periods and vaginas! Sharing in a tiny little way, it’s going to really uncomfortable if it’s something you haven’t done before. Where we’re going to feel really, you know, embarrassing.
Because we’ve been brainwashed to believe that that area of our body is embarrassing and it’s just not, you know, there is an underlying message.
In so many cultures that good girls don’t have sex.
You know, that good girls don’t talk about this stuff and that we are only lovable if we are a good girl. Well, you know, and being a good girl will stop you from being good to yourself. And also, long term, if you don’t really get to know your body and you don’t share with your partner or friends or whatever is appropriate for you, you may find that you ignore symptoms as something that could be quite serious.
Le’Nise:So start to have the conversation. It doesn’t have to be small. Start with what feels comfortable for you and then do it often, do it in a way that you can then build up to then having the bigger conversations that are appropriate for you and your body.
Mika: Also read books. One I still swear by is Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth, which is not just about gynaecological health, but it’s a game changer in terms of understanding why we are sort of hard on ourselves and judgemental of our own bodies and how that actually has come through Biblical text, the media, film and significantly, advertising, the advertising is geared towards making us feel less than and insignificant so that then we buy the products that will make us better. You know, so, really great book. Yeah. And and listen to women talk about these things. There’s so much out there now, you know. Yeah. Find your vocabulary through listening to other people talk about it.
Le’Nise:Find your vocabulary. I really like that. You talked about desire. And this is tied into the conversation about finding your vocabulary, moving away from this good girl image. Or good girl kind of idea that’s drummed into us from when we’re very young. What role do you think owning your desire plays into that?
Mika: Well, young women out there, there’s absolutely no education at all around desire for young women at the moment. Whereas I think it’s quite normal for parents of young men to understand that young men start masturbating.
And it’s almost like this kind of God given thing that they can’t help, you know, this sexual energy and power that comes through that means they have to do it. I’m not suggesting that young men don’t go through shame around it. I don’t. It’s not like they’ve got it so easy. But I do believe there’s more vocabulary around young men’s sexual power coming through and that there is absolutely zero, zero teaching around young women’s desire. And I think. Again, just to be super kind of clear on it. It’s up to you. I don’t think you need to start suddenly talking about self pleasure, masturbation or that the moment the millennials are all talking about wanking. You know, for me, that’s not my taste. But I respect them. But it’s about getting the relationship with yourself, with yourself so that you, so that you whatever that is, and it may be that there’s only one person in your life that you talk to about it, and that might be your partner. But dear God, please talk about it. And I really believe that if you don’t, you cut yourself off from that area of your body. And I think disease in the body comes through the nervous system. So if your nervous system is not fully integrated, if you if you feel shame around the area of your body, the likelihood is this is that your mind body connection is probably very disassociated.
So I I really believe that if we don’t integrate the shame that we have around an area of our body, then we kind of get blocked off from that areas of our body. And not only does that mean we probably won’t look out for symptoms if we have any come up. Also might mean that we can’t feel that part of our body as well, which may affect our ability to have an orgasm. Also, there is the potential that not being connected to that area of our body may block energy in that area, probably which there is a suggestion could lead to ill health. You know, there is scientific evidence that’s starting to show that blockages within an area of our body and a blockage can come from not listening to that area of the body. It could be to do with faking orgasms for your whole life. And the reason that you may need to fake an orgasm is because without even knowing it, you have shame around that area of your body. You may not you may not even know that you’ve got shame. You may not know that that’s why. But if you you know, if you if you if you don’t know the irony of what if you don’t know your own desires. If you’re not really fully integrated with yourself as a woman, you’re not free.
And then your body can’t be free.
Le’Nise:I think it’s also because when we’re younger, we don’t tend to, you mentioned the conversation around boys and masturbation. Girls and masturbation, I remember growing up and having conversations with girlfriends and they would say, well, I don’t masturbate. And I would say, “well, well, why?” And they’d say, “well, I don’t need to.” But when you masturbate, you learn about what you know, what an orgasm actually feels like. You know how to get to an orgasm. And you can bring that conversation into your relationship or any sexual encounters you have. And that’s that element, that’s a way of empowering yourself to get the best out of that situation. So I think it’s really important for women of all ages can get there. It doesn’t, you don’t have to be young. But again, to going back to what you said earlier about being comfortable and starting with those little small conversations and growing there and finding a way to feel empowered about, in your desire and owning your desire.
Mika:So many women I know find it difficult to get to climax, orgasm. And I, I believe that is because we don’t spend our teenage years practising, whereas somehow there is a, again, really, just to be clear. I think men feel a lot of shame around at that age, too, but they still get on and do it because within media, within films, it may be teased a bit, but it’s still considered normal. And with women, everyone lies about it. No one admits to doing it. I think I said you said I didn’t do it. Someone asked me at university, “Are you doing that?” I thought, ‘no.’
You know, it’s just not. Not. We’re not free within it. There are also women who can’t reach climax, and I think it’s really important, to, I don’t know because I don’t know those women. I don’t know whether or not if they did a lot of work on themselves in terms of body release and really integrating, whether or not they would be able to reach climax.
But I think it’s very important that we take some of the pressure off ourselves to reach climax and understand that sexual pleasure is not just about an orgasm. And if you as a woman, you haven’t managed to reach that point, that’s okay, you just need to enjoy the experience still and not write it off and not over give to your partner. Not deny yourself pleasure in whatever way that pleasure comes in order to make sure your partner’s needs get met. And you don’t. So don’t always seek that orgasm.
You know, it’s not it’s not the essential thing. But open connection is.
Mika:So Lady Garden Foundation, really excitingly with my co-founders, we have greenlit a piece of research again by Dr. Banerjee into how the COVID-19 pandemic has affected key workers within cancer research. So looking into mental health and resilience and I feel that that’s a really appropriate use of our money at the moment. Alongside also continuing to donate to cancer research into, into medication and continuing to raise awareness around these cancers so that women will go and get checked more often. And then we’ve got hopefully we had to change our run date. We have a run, an annual run that I started. It’ll be our fifth, I think, this year. And. And it was meant to be in April. And we’ve moved it. So it’s going to be in October. Fingers crossed. We’ll see what the government says. Yeah. Lots of just other bits and pieces, fun, fun things going on later. And then I’m just starting to record the second season of The Happy Vagina. And I’ve got an amazing guest list, and I’m really branching out into some other areas. So one of the most fundamental differences is that I’m gonna have men on.
All of season one, I just kept getting all of my male friends that were can be the ones that work in the entertainment industry going, what are you doing? Why are you like ostracising us and being divisive? Oh, no. This is a really divisive project. I get it because obviously with Lady Garden, it’s about gynaecological cancers. One of the reasons I started the Happy Vagina was because I wanted to reach out more into women’s health. And then the men who, like you were being divisive. And I was like, you know what? You’re right, I am. So I’ve got some men coming on who will be talking specifically about experiences that are relatable to women.
So the main focus and story around The Happy Vagina is still around women. So I’ve got George Robinson, who is one of the stars of Sex Education. He’s just joined in season two.
And also, he had an accident where he broke his neck a few years ago. So he’s in a wheelchair. And so we talk about his relationship to women, which is just fantastic.
And then I’ve got Charlie Condou coming on, who is a gay, three-way parenter. So he and his male partner had a child with one of their friends and they three-way parent. And I’m really excited to hear about that. And then I have Kenny Jones coming on. So I’m really and then I’ve got some amazing woman as well. Emilie Pine and Kate Devlin. And yeah, so it’s it’s kind of. I’m just starting to record it, and I hope it’ll be out in July.
And I just feel really. It’s just an amazing project. The response to it is amazing. People absolutely love what I’m doing with it. And I feel I feel really liberated by it. I feel we liberated by it and excited for the future of it. We’re going to make some pants as well. Oh, I know.
Le’Nise:Thinking back on your journey from where you started when you first got your period, the party that your mom threw for you to where you are now, if you could go back to speak to your 13 year old self, what would you say to her?
Mika: I think I’d say it’s going to be okay. You know, just quite simple, soothing. It’s going to be OK, because it always is in the end. I think so many of us go through such trauma. Pain in life. Life can be incredibly painful and human beings can be very mean, very, very mean. I don’t know why, but they can. And I and I think just the very simple. Everything’s gonna be okay. Which was one of the meditations that I used to soothe myself after my mother died. I’d wake up in the night unable to get back to sleep in sheer shock and severe anxiety. Just everything’s gonna be okay.
Everything’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay.
Le’Nise:I can feel that mantra going through me now, everything’s going to be OK. If listeners want to find out more about you, The Lady Garden, The Happy Vagina, where can they find out more?
Mika:Pretty straightforward. I’m Mika Simmons and my handles on social media at @missmikasimmons, which I’m trying to change at the moment. I don’t think I should be a miss anymore.
The Happy Vagina is @thehappyvagina. So never forget the the it’s the most important part, the happy vagina.
It’s Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK and it’s so important that we continue to have these important conversations about mental health and wellbeing.
I know what it’s like to be depressed, anxious and have that feeling that you’re never going to get past it. I now know it’s possible to do this and I do a lot to manage my mental health and wellbeing. That means being vigilant about what I eat & drink, how I exercise, who I let into my life and having an active practice of self-care. I take things day by day.
I never used to talk about this side of me, thinking there was something shameful about my anxiety and depression, like I needed to hide it in order to present my best self to the world. Campaigns like this are important because it takes away the stigma and shows that talking about mental health matters.
What about you? Are you comfortable talking about your mental health?
The impact of food and alcohol on mental health
What we eat and what we drink (and what we don’t eat & drink) can have a huge effect on our moods and mental wellbeing.
Alcohol, for example, can affect our mental health simply because it depletes B vitamins and these are what we use to produce serotonin, our happy hormone. This is the ‘hangxiety’ that some of us experience after a few drinks.
Food can also help us manage our moods. Getting lots of veg, especially leafy greens and cruciferous veg helps feed the good bacteria in our gut and it’s this good bacteria that helps produce serotonin (that wonderful happy hormone!)
Yoga, yoga, yoga!
Okay, you might read this part of the post and think I’m a bit biased. Yes, it’s true that I love yoga (I do at least 30 minutes every day!) and I start my yoga teacher training in two weeks time. BUT it really is beneficial.
Research shows that yoga can help us better regulate our response to stressful situations and can decrease our heart rate, blood pressure and how quickly we breath in and out.
It’s true that yoga can never stop anxiety and depression. However, the research shows and what I know from my personal experience, is that it’s an incredible way to proactively manage mental health and manage symptoms when they crop up.
I’ve been leaning on my yoga pretty hard recently, in both the physical and breath practice, in order to help manage the anxiety that a pretty wild family situation has caused. The simple act of being in the flows of the different poses helps my brain shut off and adding in the breathing helps calm me down and bring some perspective. I take my breath work into the rest of my day and it helps a lot.
Have you seen the benefits of yoga on your mental health?
Try meditation
In the last few weeks, I’ve been trying to add in a few minutes of meditation after each yoga practice. I do shavasana and then I go into my meditation pose. On my Instagram Stories, I’ve been calling what I do #reallifemeditation because for me, there isn’t a perfect meditation scenario. It’s about trying to squeeze it in where I can, in my day to day life, and trying not to let my mind wander too much.
I got an amazing message from one of my nutrition colleagues, which put what I’m trying to do in perspective. She shared something her dad said to her about meditation: it’s not about having an absence of thought, but merely observing your thoughts and letting them be.
So when I meditated earlier this week and thought about whether Meghan Markle was doing okay, whether she does yoga with her mom, remembering to floss before I went to the dentist, these were all thoughts that I now just need to observe, rather than stressing out that I can’t empty my mind.
Studies show that mindful meditation that incorporates breath work helps reduce noradrenaline, one of our stress hormones. So whether you can meditate for 30 seconds or 30 minutes, it’s can become a wonderful part of your mental health toolbox to help manage anxiety and depression.
Would you try meditating?
Get into the sun
Do you ever feel a bit anxious or depressed and then suddenly feel your mood lift a bit once you head outside into the sun? Some of that could be vitamin D!
Vitamin D is an incredible hormone (no, it’s not actually a vitamin!) that helps improve mood, build strong bones and support our immune system. We have vitamin D receptors on many of the cells in our bodies and the easiest (and cheapest way!) to get it is from the sun! ☀
Research shows that vitamin D plays an important role in regulating mood and keeping depression at bay, which explains why many of us feel a little bit better when we’ve got a bit of sun.
During the winter, it’s important to get your levels tested at your GP or privately to know how much you need to supplement. During late spring and summer, get outside into the sun! Just 10 minutes of sun exposure (without sunscreen) is all it takes to keep your vitamin D levels topped up!
Do you notice a difference in your mood when you’ve been in the sun?
